The Brothers Karamazov 1732 Studios

Russian · Book XI — Ivan

V. Не ты, не ты!

Not You, Not You!

118 sentences · 259 notes

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  1. 1

    On his way to Ivan he happened to pass the house in which Katerina Ivanovna had her lodgings.

    Поonпо · prepositionpreposition marking дороге
    дорогеthe wayдорога · noun, dative, feminine, singularoblique complement of пришлось
    кtoк · prepositionpreposition marking Ивану
    ИвануIvanИван · proper noun, dative, masculine, singularmodifies дороге
    пришлосьhappenedприйтись · verb, past, indicative, middle, singular, impersonal, perfectivemain verb of the sentence
    емуheон · pronoun, dative, masculine, singularindirect object of пришлось
    проходитьto passпроходить · verb, active, infinitive, imperfectivedepends on пришлось
    мимоbyмимо · prepositionpreposition marking дома
    домаthe houseдом · noun, genitive, masculine, singularoblique complement of проходить
    вinв · prepositionpreposition marking котором
    которомwhichкоторый · pronoun, relative, locative, masculine, singularoblique complement of квартировала
    квартировалаhad lodgingsквартировать · verb, past, indicative, active, singular, imperfectiverelative clause on дома
    КатеринаKaterinaКатерина · proper noun, nominative, feminine, singularsubject of квартировала
    ИвановнаIvanovnaИвановна · proper noun, nominative, feminine, singulardepends on Катерина
  2. 2

    There was light in the windows.

  3. 3

    He suddenly stopped and resolved to go in.

  4. 4

    He had not seen Katerina Ivanovna for more than a week now.

  5. 5

    But it now occurred to him that Ivan might be with her just at this moment, especially on the eve of such a day.

  6. 6

    Having rung and stepped onto the staircase, dimly lit by a Chinese lantern, he caught sight of a man coming down from above, in whom, as they drew level, he recognized his brother.

  7. 7

    So Ivan, it seemed, was already on his way out from Katerina Ivanovna's.

  8. 8

    "Ah, it's only you," said Ivan Fyodorovich dryly. "Well, goodbye. You're going up to her?"

  9. 9

    "Yes."

  10. 10

    "I wouldn't advise it; she's 'in a state,' and you'll only upset her all the more."

  11. 11

    "No, no!" a voice suddenly cried out from above, from a door that had been flung open in an instant. "Alexei Fyodorovich, have you come from him?"

  12. 12

    "Yes, I was with him."

  13. 13

    "Did he send word of anything for me? Come in, Alyosha, and you, Ivan Fyodorovich, you must come back, you absolutely must. Do you hear me!"

  14. 14

    There rang in Katya's voice so commanding a note that Ivan Fyodorovich, after a moment's hesitation, made up his mind nonetheless to go back up together with Alyosha.

  15. 15

    "She was eavesdropping!" he whispered irritably to himself, but Alyosha caught it.

  16. 16

    "Allow me to keep my coat on," said Ivan Fyodorovich, stepping into the drawing room. "I won't even sit down. I'll stay no more than a minute."

  17. 17

    "Sit down, Alexei Fyodorovich," said Katerina Ivanovna, remaining on her feet herself.

  18. 18

    She had changed little in this time, but her dark eyes glittered with an ominous fire.

  19. 19

    Alyosha remembered afterward that she had struck him as extraordinarily beautiful at that moment.

  20. 20

    "Well, what did he tell you to pass on?"

  21. 21

    "Only one thing," said Alyosha, looking straight into her face, "that you should spare yourself and reveal nothing at the trial about what..." — he faltered a little — "about what passed between you... at the very time of your first acquaintance... in that town..."

  22. 22

    "Ah, this is about the bow to the ground over that money!" she broke in, laughing bitterly. "Well, is he afraid for himself or for me — eh? He told me to spare — whom, then? Himself or me? Speak, Alexei Fyodorovich."

  23. 23

    Alyosha gazed at her intently, trying to understand her.

  24. 24

    "Both yourself and him," he said quietly.

  25. 25

    "There it is," she said, somehow spitefully clipping the words, and suddenly flushed. "You don't know me yet, Alexei Fyodorovich," she said menacingly, "and I don't yet know myself. Perhaps after tomorrow's questioning you'll want to trample me underfoot."

  26. 26

    "You'll give your testimony honestly," said Alyosha, "that's all that's needed."

  27. 27

    "A woman is often dishonest," she ground out. "Only an hour ago I was thinking that I was afraid to touch that monster... as one would a viper... and now — no, he is still a man to me! But did he kill? Was it he who killed?" she suddenly cried out hysterically, turning quickly to Ivan Fyodorovich.

  28. 28

    Alyosha understood in a flash that this very question she had already put to Ivan Fyodorovich, perhaps only a minute before his arrival, and not for the first time but for the hundredth, and that they had ended in a quarrel.

  29. 29

    "I went to see Smerdyakov... It was you, you who convinced me that he is the murderer of his father. It was only you I believed!" she went on, still addressing Ivan Fyodorovich.

  30. 30

    He gave a sort of strained smirk.

  31. 31

    Alyosha started at this "you."

  32. 32

    He could not even have suspected such a relationship between them.

  33. 33

    "Well, enough of this," Ivan cut in. "I'm going. I'll come tomorrow." And turning on the spot at once, he walked out of the room and went straight to the staircase.

  34. 34

    Katerina Ivanovna suddenly, with a kind of imperious gesture, seized Alyosha by both hands.

  35. 35

    "Go after him! Catch up with him! Don't leave him alone for a minute," she whispered rapidly. "He's deranged. Don't you know that he's lost his mind? He has a fever, a nervous fever! The doctor told me so — go, run after him..."

  36. 36

    Alyosha leapt up and rushed after Ivan Fyodorovich.

  37. 37

    Ivan had not managed to get fifty paces off.

  38. 38

    "What do you want?" he suddenly turned on Alyosha, seeing that he was catching up. "She told you to run after me because I'm out of my mind. I know it by heart," he added irritably.

  39. 39

    "She's mistaken, of course, but she's right that you're ill," said Alyosha. "I was just now looking at your face in there; you have a very sick face, very, Ivan!"

  40. 40

    Ivan walked on without stopping. Alyosha followed him.

  41. 41

    "And do you know, Alexei Fyodorovich, how people go out of their mind?" Ivan asked all at once, in a voice quite soft, no longer at all irritable, in which there suddenly sounded the most artless curiosity.

  42. 42

    "No, I don't; I suppose there are many different kinds of madness."

  43. 43

    "And can a man observe in himself that he's going mad?"

  44. 44

    "I think one can't watch oneself clearly in such a case," Alyosha answered in surprise.

  45. 45

    Ivan fell silent for half a minute.

  46. 46

    "If you want to talk to me about something, then change the subject, please," he said abruptly.

  47. 47

    "Oh, before I forget — there's a letter for you," Alyosha said timidly, and drawing it from his pocket, he held out to him Liza's letter.

  48. 48

    They had just come up to a streetlamp.

  49. 49

    Ivan recognized the handwriting at once.

  50. 50

    "Ah, this is from that little imp!" he laughed spitefully, and without breaking the seal of the envelope, he suddenly tore it into several pieces and tossed them to the wind.

  51. 51

    The scraps scattered.

  52. 52

    "Not yet sixteen, by the look of it, and already offering herself!" he said contemptuously, striding off down the street again.

  53. 53

    "Offering herself how?" exclaimed Alyosha.

  54. 54

    "The way dissolute women offer themselves, of course."

  55. 55

    "What are you saying, Ivan, what are you saying?" Alyosha came to her defense, grieved and ardent. "She's a child, you're insulting a child! She's ill, she herself is very ill, perhaps she too is going out of her mind... I couldn't help passing on her letter to you... On the contrary, I wanted to hear something from you... so as to save her."

  56. 56

    "There's nothing for you to hear from me. If she's a child, then I'm not her nursemaid. Be quiet, Alexei. Don't go on. I don't even think about it."

  57. 57

    Again they were silent for a minute.

  58. 58

    "She'll spend the whole night now praying to the Mother of God to show her how to act tomorrow at the trial," he suddenly began again, sharply and spitefully.

  59. 59

    "You... you mean Katerina Ivanovna?"

  60. 60

    "Yes. Whether she should appear as Mitenka's savior or his destroyer. That's what she'll be praying about, that her soul be enlightened. She doesn't even know yet, you see, she hasn't managed to prepare. She takes me for a nursemaid too, she wants me to lull her to sleep!"

  61. 61

    "Katerina Ivanovna loves you, brother," said Alyosha with sorrowful feeling.

  62. 62

    "Perhaps. Only I'm not partial to her."

  63. 63

    "She suffers. Then why do you say to her... sometimes... such words that give her hope?" Alyosha went on with timid reproach. "For I know that you held out hope to her — forgive me for speaking like this," he added.

  64. 64

    "I can't act here as I ought, break it off and tell her straight out!" Ivan said irritably. "One has to wait until they pronounce the verdict on the murderer. If I break with her now, then out of revenge against me she'll ruin that scoundrel at the trial tomorrow, because she hates him and knows that she hates him. It's all lies here, lies upon lies! But for now, as long as I haven't broken with her, she still hopes and won't go ruining that monster, knowing how I want to drag him out of trouble. And when, oh when, will that cursed verdict ever come!"

  65. 65

    The words "murderer" and "monster" echoed painfully in Alyosha's heart.

  66. 66

    "But by what means can she ruin our brother?" he asked, pondering Ivan's words. "What can she testify to that could directly destroy Mitya?"

  67. 67

    "You don't yet know about that. She has in her hands a document, in his own handwriting, Mitenka's own, mathematically proving that he killed Fyodor Pavlovich."

  68. 68

    "That cannot be!" exclaimed Alyosha.

  69. 69

    "How can it not? I read it myself."

  70. 70

    "There can be no such document!" Alyosha repeated heatedly. "It can't be, because he is not the murderer. It was not he who killed our father, not he!"

  71. 71

    Ivan Fyodorovich suddenly stopped.

  72. 72

    "Who, then, is the murderer, in your opinion?" he asked with a kind of cold air, and a note that was almost haughty rang in the tone of the question.

  73. 73

    "You yourself know who," Alyosha said softly and penetratingly.

  74. 74

    "Who? That fairy tale about this crazed epileptic idiot? About Smerdyakov?"

  75. 75

    Alyosha suddenly felt himself trembling all over.

  76. 76

    "You yourself know who," broke from him feebly.

  77. 77

    He could scarcely breathe.

  78. 78

    "But who, who?" Ivan cried out, by now almost ferociously.

  79. 79

    All his restraint had suddenly vanished.

  80. 80

    "I know only one thing," Alyosha said, still almost in a whisper. "The one who killed our father was not you."

  81. 81

    "'Not you'! What do you mean, not you?" Ivan was dumbfounded.

  82. 82

    "It was not you who killed our father, not you!" Alyosha repeated firmly.

  83. 83

    For half a minute the silence held.

  84. 84

    "But I know myself that it wasn't me — are you raving?" said Ivan, with a wan, contorted smirk.

  85. 85

    He seemed to fasten his eyes on Alyosha.

  86. 86

    The two of them were standing by the streetlamp again.

  87. 87

    "No, Ivan, you yourself have said several times that you are the murderer."

  88. 88

    "When did I say it?... I was in Moscow... When did I say it?" Ivan stammered, utterly at a loss.

  89. 89

    "You said it to yourself many times when you were left alone during these dreadful two months," Alyosha went on, as before, quietly and distinctly.

  90. 90

    But he was already speaking as if beside himself, as if not of his own will, obeying some irresistible command. "You accused yourself and confessed to yourself that no one but you was the murderer. But it was not you who killed, you are mistaken, you are not the murderer, do you hear me, not you! God has sent me to tell you this."

  91. 91

    Both fell silent. A whole long minute the silence dragged on. Both stood and kept looking each other in the eyes. Both were pale.

  92. 92

    Suddenly Ivan began to shake all over and gripped Alyosha hard by the shoulder.

  93. 93

    "You were at my place!" he said in a grating whisper. "You were at my place that night, when he came... Confess it... you saw him, you saw him?"

  94. 94

    "Whom are you talking about... about Mitya?" Alyosha asked, bewildered.

  95. 95

    "Not about him, the monster be damned!" Ivan screamed frantically. "Do you really know that he comes to me? How did you find out — tell me!"

  96. 96

    "Who is 'he'? I don't know whom you're talking about," Alyosha stammered, by now frightened.

  97. 97

    "No, you do know... otherwise how could you... it can't be that you didn't know..."

  98. 98

    But suddenly he seemed to check himself.

  99. 99

    He stood there and seemed to be turning something over in his mind.

  100. 100

    A strange smile twisted his lips.

  101. 101

    "Brother," Alyosha began again in a trembling voice, "I told you this because you'll believe my word, I know it. I have told you this word for your whole life: 'not you!' Do you hear, for your whole life. And it is God who laid it on my soul to tell you this, even though from this very hour you should hate me forever..."

  102. 102

    But Ivan Fyodorovich had by now, it seemed, entirely managed to master himself.

  103. 103

    "Alexei Fyodorovich," he said with a cold smirk, "I cannot abide prophets and epileptics; messengers of God especially, as you know all too well. From this minute I break with you, and, it seems, forever. I ask you to leave me this very instant, at this very crossroads. And besides, this is your road home, down this lane. Above all, beware of coming to see me today! Do you hear?"

  104. 104

    He turned and, striding firmly, walked straight ahead without looking back.

  105. 105

    "Brother," Alyosha called after him, "if anything happens to you today, think of me before anything else!.."

  106. 106

    But Ivan made no reply.

  107. 107

    Alyosha stood at the crossroads by the streetlamp until Ivan had vanished entirely into the dark.

  108. 108

    Then he turned and made his way slowly home down the lane.

  109. 109

    Both he and Ivan Fyodorovich lodged separately, in different quarters: neither of them had wanted to live in the now-deserted house of Fyodor Pavlovich.

  110. 110

    Alyosha rented a furnished room with a family of tradespeople; Ivan Fyodorovich, however, lived a fair distance from him and occupied a spacious and fairly comfortable set of rooms in the wing of a good house belonging to a not-poor widow, the wife of an official.

  111. 111

    But the only one to wait on him in the whole wing was a single ancient little old woman, quite deaf and racked with rheumatism, who went to bed at six in the evening and rose at six in the morning.

  112. 112

    Over these two months Ivan Fyodorovich had grown undemanding to the point of strangeness, and was very fond of being left entirely alone.

  113. 113

    He even tidied the room he occupied himself, and rarely so much as set foot in the other rooms of his lodging.

  114. 114

    Having reached the gate of his house and already taken hold of the bell-pull, he stopped.

  115. 115

    He felt that he was still trembling all over with a spiteful shudder.

  116. 116

    Suddenly he let go of the bell, spat, turned back, and walked quickly off again to the entirely opposite end of town, some two versts from his own lodging, to a tiny, lopsided log cottage in which lived Marya Kondratyevna, the former neighbor of Fyodor Pavlovich, who used to come to Fyodor Pavlovich's kitchen for soup, and to whom Smerdyakov had sung his songs and played the guitar in those days.

  117. 117

    Her former little house she had sold, and now lived with her mother in what was almost a peasant hut, while the sick, all but dying Smerdyakov had settled in with them ever since the death of Fyodor Pavlovich.

  118. 118

    It was to him, then, that Ivan Fyodorovich now made his way, drawn by a single sudden and irresistible impulse.

The particulars

The text
Братья Карамазовы, Fyodor Dostoevsky. Book XI — Ivan.
Translation
Public-domain Russian (Dostoevsky, d. 1881). Translation © 2026 1732 Studios.
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Two whoopie pies and a pine. An inside joke.